A Fist Sized Complexity

"Everyone says that our heart is that of our fist size, but this fist sized pumping engine is the most complex thing to understand. Science can measure it's speed but no external or mechanical thing can measure what's going inside it."

When I broke in as humanitarian when I opted for humanities in class XIth, I thought this will open up a new door in my life that will be filled with innovative and out of the box stuffs, I was filled with elation after stepping into this new field, but my fate, that my happiness and parents thought process did not went hand in hand. According to them I did a heinous crime by breaking the lineage of my family of hooking up with either Science - The elite group or should I say Brahmans of the social strata, or Commerce - The second or the third most elite group or the Kshatriya or Vaishyas of the social strata. But like a awestruck happening for my parents expectations I hooked myself with a path where my fellow family members did not even look up to and that was Humanities - The suppressed, ignored group or should I say Shudras amongst the social strata, here you are looked upon as bonded laborours. To my parents worst nightmare I went with the lowest strata.

After taking up this stream I thought, finally I am away from the mechanical zombies now I can choose up what I want and took a sigh of relief. This stream gifted me the awesome two years where I peeped and glanced and even researched through the various stages of world may it be history, politics, sociology, literary. But amongst them, one sphere hooked my heart and soul and that was sociology. So like every daydreamer and night-dreamer I too dreamt to dedicate my life to the suppressed and the downtrodden ones. 

I passed my XIIth with flying colours and I thought that finally I can open up my wings and give my dreams a fresh breath of life, but to my utter surprise my father's verdict for my career fell like a nuclear weapon on my dreams, my dreams were shattered and demolished in a fraction of phone call that I got from my father and asked me to take up MASS COMMUNICATION as my career. My dreams were left nowhere, I nodded a yes with a smile on my face which gave a feeling of elation to him, but no one thought of me and never asked what I actually wanted to be.

And now when I am finally up with this profession my mother who understood me and listened to me turned up and asked " Do you have a career in this field, will you get a job?" my heart skipped a beat, that the one who understood me and was partner in crime with my father who raised a thumbs up for Mass Communication turned up to be a foe. Again this heart failed to understand a mere human and betrayed my thoughts. Whomsoever this heart trusted always turned to be a foe, who wore a mask of clean heart but behind the mast was hidden a malicious heart.

I wish God should have created an in built mechanism in humans to have courage to do what there heart says to rather than fool your heart and sacrifice your hopes, wishes and dreams for someone who just acts like knowing you but is actually a hypocrite in action and words they proceed. And also to understand the actuality of a person's intention who tends to talk to you.

"Never betray your heart and conscious, because one fine day they will start to betray you back by playing with your emotions and internal thoughts."
 "The only thing that separates you from your dreams and your goal is you".
Always remember that this fist sized engine is pumping for you, to sustain your life and not others. So just just be what you want to be not what others want you to see.
 
  



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